


Break

by Kyluxtrashpit (ApostateRevolutionary)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Soft Kylux, very soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 13:04:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15486384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ApostateRevolutionary/pseuds/Kyluxtrashpit
Summary: Sometimes Hux breaks down, too. Kylo does what he can to help.





	Break

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of conceptualized this as a companion piece to [Worth It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8965870) and consider it to take place in the same universe, just this time it's Hux having the breakdown. You don't need to have read that one to understand this one, though

Kylo pulled the door to the apartment closed behind him, toeing off his shoes and making his way inside. He thought he could hear Hux fussing around in the bedroom, soft sounds of movement indicating he wasn’t alone. Kylo smiled to himself, always happy to return to his boyfriend after a long day. First, though, he needed to empty his hands.

The grocery bag containing milk and a handful of other items they’d needed was unloaded first, everything going where it belonged. Kylo had a strange sense that something was different, just a little bit off, as he put everything away, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. It must not have been important, then. Perhaps Hux had moved something and it was throwing off his perceptions.

Next, his backpack was left in the dining room next to Hux’s briefcase, the uneaten banana within pulled out. He could use a snack and perhaps he could tease Hux by eating it suggestively in the bedroom doorway, as he had done on more than one occasion before. The idea made him grin so, mind made up, Kylo circled around through the living room to put his phone on the coffee table as he unpeeled the banana.

By chance, his eyes found the bookshelves they had there and Kylo stopped, plans forgotten. The books were in a different order than before, arranged no longer by author’s last name and seemingly divided into sections of some sort instead. Kylo’s stomach dropped and he looked over to where the movie collection was, noticing an organizational change there, too.

Shit. The banana was forgotten on the coffee table as Kylo walked towards the bedroom, trying to stay calm and not set Hux off. If Hux was in the ‘reorganizing the entire apartment’ stage, then something was definitely up. Sometimes he’d sort and rearrange one thing and then be done, and in those cases Kylo didn’t worry; sometimes Hux just liked to reorganize things. But when he started his little crusade of order throughout the whole apartment, that was always a sign of something more serious.

Sure enough, when Kylo reached the threshold to the bedroom, he found Hux surrounded by clothes that had come out of the closet. His face strained, Hux was sorting them into piles, a frenetic energy to his movements instead of his usual slow, careful methodology. Kylo had known Hux for more than long enough to easily spot the difference.

“Babe, I’m home,” Kylo said, keeping his voice soft so as not to startle Hux.

Hux’s head whipped around anyways. “Oh. I didn’t hear you come in. How was your day, darling?”

Kylo bit his lip. “Fine, nothing special. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. How was yours?”

“Oh, you know,” Hux said distractedly, his attention back on the piles of clothes he was building, “positively awful, but that’s nothing new.”

Kylo swallowed; the fact that Hux was being so blasé about it was perhaps the worst sign of all. He was running, trying desperately to distract himself from whatever had happened that day. While Kylo knew his own methods of dealing with things were severely lacking, he also knew from experience that Hux trying to avoid his crash only made it hit that much harder when it finally did.

“What happened?” Kylo asked, aware that Hux most likely didn’t want to discuss it but that he definitely needed to.

“Ah, just the usual,” Hux said, pulling back from his sorting for a moment to regard his piles critically. “People are stupid.”

Kylo waited patiently for more, not wanting to push unless he needed to. Hux appeared not to notice, picking up one of the piles of clothing he’d made and carefully hanging it in the closet. He returned for another and did the same, rearranging one or two hangers, before going back for a third. The sorting appeared to be based on colour, Kylo noticed, with their halves of the closet still separated.

When Hux just continued hanging clothes, that wild, manic look still in his eyes, Kylo interfered. He stepped into the bedroom, intercepting Hux on his trip back to grab another pile. Kylo took Hux’s hands in his, holding them to his chest. Hux was tense, but did not fight him.

“Hux,” he said, fixing him with his stare, “just stop. Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing, Kylo,” Hux said, his eyes flitting back to the piles on the bed. “I just need to finish this and then I need to sort the-”

“No,” Kylo said, letting the word hang in the air for a moment. “Hux, you need to stop. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you know it’ll help.”

A quick shock of fear flashed through Hux’s eyes. “No, I, it’s fine, everything’s fine. I’m just doing some reorganizing.”

Kylo took a deep breath, reminding himself to be patient. Hux was even more stubborn than he was when he wanted to be. It was frustrating when he got like this, but getting angry wouldn’t help either of them. Kylo at least had enough of a handle on himself at this point in his life to stay calm for Hux’s sake.

“I know, baby.” Kylo gently ran his thumbs over Hux’s hands where he still held them, Hux’s skin slowly warming from the contact with Kylo’s. “But you know what happens when you get like this. Let me help you, okay?”

Hux let out a shaky breath, his gaze drifting away again, avoiding the intimacy of eye contact. “It’s just… Work was frustrating, that’s all.”

“How so?”

Hux made a face, like it was physically painful for him to discuss his feelings; if asked, he’d probably say it was. “Everything was lined up perfectly for month end. The numbers looked great.”

“But they weren’t?” Kylo asked, voice soft.

“The last department sent in their reports,” Hux explained, sounding both angry and exhausted. “It was completely off. None of it makes sense. Everything on it was completely fucked. There was nothing I could do make it make sense, so I sent it back for them to fix and now everything’s late.”

Kylo shifted a little closer. “Hux, you know that’s not your fault, right?”

“I know,” Hux said, but his breathing stuttered as he did, coming faster now, “but no one else seems to. They got it wrong and delayed everything, yet they’re not the ones who got screamed at for twenty minutes over it.”

 _It’s not fair_ , Kylo could hear Hux wishing he could add, _I did nothing wrong but I’m the one being punished, just like what Brendol would do._

“They sent me home since there was nothing I could do until it’s sorted,” Hux’s eyes were shining now, wetness threatening to spill, and he was nearly panting, “If they can’t get it fixed, it’ll be a complete financial disaster. I think they’re going to fire me over it. For something I didn’t even do, that I have no fucking control over!”

Kylo could tell when something cracked and then Hux was pitching forward, pressing his face against Kylo’s chest and letting out shuddering sobs. Kylo released Hux’s hands and wrapped his arms around Hux’s back, stroking gently as Hux’s tears soaked through his shirt and his fists clenched at the fabric. This is what Hux hated yet needed; the awful paradox of human emotion, as he’d once put it.

“I know, baby, I know,” Kylo murmured, pressing his lips to Hux’s scalp.

There was nothing he could say that would actually help until Hux had worked it all out of system, nothing that would actually stick, so Kylo just continued to whisper soothing nonsense, his heart hurting for Hux. He wished there was more he could do than hold Hux and remind him to breathe, but it was one of those situations where nothing _could_ be done. It was always those that affected Hux the most. He couldn’t stand it when something went wrong and he was powerless to do anything about it.

Kylo gently maneuvered them to the bed, ignoring the remaining piles of clothes and letting Hux curl around him and continue to sob into his chest while he held him close. Eventually, Hux quieted, breathing heavily and sniffling against Kylo’s shirt. Kylo kept petting Hux’s back, comforting him the best way he knew how, with soft touches and words.

Once Hux seemed to have calmed enough, Kylo broke the silence. “You know they can’t fire you, Hux. The place would burn down within the week if they did and they’re idiots if they don’t know that.”

Hux let out a watery laugh. “I hope you’re right. I’m just so… frustrated. I hate being so useless.”

“Hey,” Kylo said firmly, “don’t say that. You’re the least useless person I’ve ever known.”

Hux huffed. “It doesn’t feel that way sometimes. I just feel so… impotent. If it were a matter of staying late to fix something, I wouldn’t care, but there’s literally _nothing_ I can do. They _told_ me to go home and just… stew, I suppose.”

“I know,” Kylo said for perhaps the hundredth time, pressing a kiss to the top of Hux’s head. “I understand you’re frustrated and I’m glad you talked to me about this. Do you feel better now?”

“I guess,” Hux grumbled, always hating to admit it. “I do need to clean up the clothes, though. I’m too exhausted to do the rest of what I’d planned.”

“Let me help with the clothes,” Kylo offered, unable to resist a small smile now that Hux was sufficiently calmed. “Then I can make dinner and we can watch a movie or something, okay?”

“Alright, darling,” Hux said, reluctantly starting to get up. “I’m commandeering your lap while we do. It’s far more comfortable than the pillows on the couch.”

Kylo couldn’t help but laugh fondly. “Consider it yours. Whatever you need tonight, just ask, okay?”

Hux’s cheeks tinged pink as he nodded, the embarrassment setting in, as it always did after such an episode, but Kylo was ready for that. He joined Hux in standing, grabbing Hux’s biceps and gently sliding his hands down Hux’s arms. Hux blinked at him, curious.

“Tomorrow you can deal with all this,” Kylo said, forcing Hux to meet his eyes. “Tonight, once we’re done with the closet, you’re going to relax and not think about work or anything else stressful. Okay, babe?”

“Okay,” Hux conceded, still looking a little embarrassed, but then he added, quieter, “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on [tumblr](http://kyluxtrashpit.tumblr.com/) too


End file.
